What I’ve learned after years of working with clients across the UK and Europe

My first-ever therapy client wasn’t in a room with me. It was March 2020. They were too frightened to leave their home following a traumatic local event, and the pandemic made meeting in person impossible. We worked by phone.

Neither of us knew if it would work.

Twelve months later, when we ended well, I knew something I hadn’t known before: the room isn’t what makes therapy real. The relationship is.

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The honest answer: yes, with the right therapist

Online therapy works. The research backs this up, and so does my clinical experience. Studies consistently show outcomes for online counselling are comparable to in-person work across a wide range of concerns, including anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and trauma.

But the research also shows what practitioners already know: the single most important factor in any therapy isn’t the modality or the platform. It’s the therapeutic relationship. Whether you’re on Zoom or sitting in a consulting room in Cornwall, what heals is being genuinely met by another person.

Online therapy doesn’t change that. In some ways, it deepens it.

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What changes online, and what doesn’t

When clients work with me online, I can’t read the room in the same way. I’ve learned to listen more closely to tone, pace, and timing. Small shifts in how someone is breathing. Hesitations. The moment someone’s voice changes.

The body is still present, even through a screen. And often, clients are more settled in their own body when they’re at home: on their sofa, with a favourite mug, with their cat nearby. Small things that help the nervous system feel safe. When safety increases, therapy deepens.

What doesn’t change is the quality of attention, the pace of the work, or the depth of what can be explored. I work with the same relational, depth-oriented approach online that I use in person. Psychodynamic. Person-centred. Attentive to how the body holds what the mind hasn’t yet found words for.

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Who tends to do well with online therapy

In my experience, online therapy suits people who:

• Have chosen their therapist deliberately, often after searching and reading carefully
• Want to work without travel time eating into their week
• Live somewhere with limited local options, as many people in rural Cornwall do
• Feel more able to open up from a familiar environment
• Are managing a busy life and need the flexibility

That deliberate choice matters more than people realise. When someone has searched, compared, reflected, and then decided to work with a particular therapist, they arrive already invested. That investment shapes the work from the first session.

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What online therapy can’t replace

I’ll be direct about the limits too. Some clients need in-person work, at least to begin with. If someone is in acute crisis, or if their trauma responses are strongly somatic and they need to feel another regulated nervous system physically present, in-person sessions may be more appropriate. We’d discuss that in an initial consultation.

For couples, the picture is more nuanced. Online couples work is possible and I do it regularly, but the dynamics require careful management. I’ll always be clear about whether it’s the right fit.

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A note on how I work online

Sessions are on Zoom. I don’t record sessions. If a client wants a written summary after a session, I can create one using secure, ethical tools, and only with their explicit consent.

I’m based near Bude in North Cornwall, and I work with individuals and couples across the UK and Europe. If geography has been stopping you from accessing the kind of therapy you’re looking for, it doesn’t have to.

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The short version

Online therapy works because therapy has always been about the relationship, not the room. What matters is finding a therapist whose approach fits what you’re carrying, who you feel you can trust, and who will stay with you as the work gets harder.

If you’re wondering whether online therapy might be right for you, the best next step is a short introductory call. No commitment, no pressure, just a chance to see if it feels like a fit.

Book a free introductory call

Online sessions for couples and individuals across the UK and Europe.

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