If you identify as autistic or queer, you will know what this article is about. If not, it might enlighten you.
By John Walter, first published in ILLUMINATION-Curated 29/07/24
Many of us have moments or ongoing feelings that we don’t fit in. It can be the way we think, look, feel in our bodies, eat, and react to situations, smells, or noises. Maybe you can’t concentrate or sit still for as long as others or get overwhelmed with anxiety while others sail happily along.
For far too long, anyone who looks, behaves, eats, acts, dresses, talks, thinks, moves, plays, walks, or has sex differently to some arbitrary norm has been hidden from view, imprisoned, institutionalised, medically or psychologically abused. The list could go on. I think you get the picture. I am pretty cross about this.
The binary way of looking at people suits the white patriarchy. If you roll your eyes at this statement, just think about it. Slavery would never have had any traction if there wasn’t binary black-and-white thinking from white men. This thinking gave them control, power and money.
Queer acceptance
There was a death penalty against Gay men from the reign of Henry VIII until 1835. After that, Gay men were imprisoned or given invasive medical or mental health treatment.
The noted computer scientist, mathematician, and war-time code-breaker Alan Turing (1912–1954), convicted in 1952 of “gross indecency”. Turing was given a choice between imprisonment or probation conditional on his agreement to undergo hormonal treatment designed to reduce his libido. He accepted chemical castration via oestrogen hormone injections
The message was clear: there was something wrong with homosexuals, and they needed to be executed, contained or cured. This attitude is very pervasive and still held by some. Since the year 2000, there has been legal acceptance of the gay community, but we still have a way to go for social acceptance.
Transgender individuals are still persecuted. In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association updated the DSM-5, replacing “Gender Identity Disorder” with “Gender Dysphoria,” reducing the pathologization of transgender identities. However, in the UK, conversion therapy remains legal, and the government continues to restrict individuals’ rights to transition.
Neurodiversity acceptance
Dr Temple Grandin was diagnosed with autism at age 3, and the doctor recommended she be taken away from the family and institutionalised. Her mother had other ideas. Temple Grandin is now sounding the alarm on education systems that fail to recognize neurodiversity and may let visual thinkers like her fall through the cracks.
Temple and her mother accepted that she was different. Temple discovered her strengths, particularly in working with animals, and went on to become an internationally known speaker, writer, and academic.
Historically, society has treated anyone showing signs of diverging from the norm in thinking or behaviour as a pariah. They have been shut away from society because they go against deeply ingrained expectations and challenge the prevailing social order.
In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association revised the diagnostic criteria for autism. This greatly broadened the spectrum. It now ranges from brilliant scientists, artists, and musicians to an individual who cannot dress himself or herself. Over the years, the diagnostic criteria have kept changing. It is not precise like a lab test for strep throat. Labels such as autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder or learning disability are often applied to the same child. In older children with no speech delay, the diagnosis sometimes switches back and forth between autism and ADHD.
It is time to accept there is no normal. We are all unique individuals and need to be accepted as such and accept ourselves. This would allow us to stop looking for cures and fixes and give everyone the space to live their lives as they see fit.
My journey of acceptance
I was — too touchy — too sensitive — can’t sit still — too anxious — a romancer.
I was diagnosed, given the label of having anxiety and heavily medicated.
This was medical abuse. It worked for society, but it didn’t work for me.
Then, the school stepped in with canings for being too rebellious.
I shut down and switched off but didn’t lose my soul. Looking back, it occurred as a going inward. Society wanted me to go to University and get a nice, safe job in science or engineering, and I was having none of it. To begin with, I strung them along, but around age 16, I’d had enough.
I was very clear that I wanted to work in the music industry. I didn’t make any effort to play along with the science courses I’d been forced to take in the sixth form, but I was imprisoned. Outside of school, I thrived writing songs, winning talent shows, and learning to sing in choirs.
Reaching 18, I was free. I left for London with £30 in my back pocket, and a week later, I had a job and a bedsit. Now, my education began. I could choose what to study, where, when, and at what pace. Given this freedom, I discovered a hunger for learning that has served me well.
As I hit my twenties, I accepted that I would be unlikely to fit into a standard job or career, and I created my own, which has changed with the wind over the past 50 years but has given me great contentment and satisfaction.
Embracing Identity, Fostering Acceptance
The importance of embracing identity and nurturing acceptance rather than seeking cures or fixes cannot be overstated. Our societal norms have long been dictated by a binary perspective that suits the white patriarchy, marginalizing those who don’t fit into these narrow definitions, classifying them as sick, disabled or criminalising them.
Emphasizing the Importance of Acceptance:
It is time to recognize that there is no “normal.” Each of us is unique, and our differences should be celebrated, not cured, punished or hidden away.
Embracing identity means acknowledging and celebrating our differences. This allows everyone the freedom to live authentically.
By accepting ourselves and others, we create a society that values diversity and fosters true inclusion.
Embrace your identity. Celebrate diversity. Reject the binary and nurture acceptance.